Well Hello There, Kiddies
Welcome to our annual tribute to horror writers!! It's another edition of SCARY STORIES TO TELL (JOE) IN THE DARK!!
This time around we've got four delicious tales of terror ranging from the deadliest Christmas ever to first contact with extraterrestrials! Ashley and Joe sit in their dark, creepy apartment and share the old fashioned past-time of telling spooky stories by candlelight. As usual music and sound effects have been added and could be jarring for some listeners. This episode is best listened to with headphones.
"Fake News" by Matthew Gall
Buy his book Insomniac: Bite Sized Scary Stories on Amazon!
"50,000" by reddit user jtb685
Check out their reddit sub at www.reddit.com/r/jtb685
"Distorted Warning Signals" by Ashley Rose Wellman
Check out her website ashleyrosewellman.com and follow her on Instagram @ashleyrosewellman
"The Meteor Generation" by Heather Flowers
ALL MUSICAL CONTRIBUTIONS BY VIVEK ABISHEK
Hear more at www.youtube.com/c/VIVEKABHISHEK
Hello our sweet weird babies
First of all THANK YOU so much for sending in so many questions for our second ASK A WEIRDO episode!! We got so many and we feel very loved by all of you.
We did (apparently two?!) Ask a Weirdo episodes back in season one and then we never picked it up again! So this week we are answering questions about podcasting, questions about self care and depression and even a handful of WEIRD questions including playing FMK with the paranormal and screaming over a lightning round.
We had a lot of fun doing this this week-- it really felt like we were just hanging out with you and telling you about our favorite things, our silliest secrets and our darkest moments. NO NEW EPISODE next week so please check out ASK ME EVERYTHING and get more FREE weird content!
No need for a magnifying glass weirdos, these mysteries are SOLVED!!
We've scratched our heads for LONG ENOUGH so welcome to the second part of our SOLVED MYSTERIES episode!
This week Ashley is detailing the investigation into the murder of William Sparkman Jr. in 2009. How the detectives managed to go from mistaken hit job in the woods to something completely different in a matter of weeks thanks to strange confessions, brush stroke analysis, and good old fashioned non-lethal police work.
Then Lauren wraps us up with a happy ending by telling us how the show Unsolved Mysteries went searching for one missing girl... and ended up finding a totally different one.
As usual, with all true crime episodes, this one contains some really dark material. Including descriptions of dead bodies, mentions of suicide, pedophilia and kidnapping. We are also total goobers, so we make jokes throughout. But that DOES NOT MEAN there is anything funny or comical about these cases. Just that we are children who can't control ourselves.
Buckle your butts, weirdos. This story gets dark.. and then darker... and then even darker.
We've covered unsolved mysteries several times on this show but we thought it was HIGH TIME to dedicate a series to SOLVED mysteries!! No more frustrating unanswered questions... well.. maybe a few...
This week our very special guest and beloved Patreon Keep It Beard cohost AMY HANSELMANN tells us the story of the disappearance of Steven Stayner.
Like I said, this story is DARK. It involves kidnapping, murder, pedophilia, generational trauma, and too many monsters. But stay tuned to the end, because I chime in just when our spirits are lowest to revive you with some of the BEST things happening in our world today!
Hey Ho, Lets Go!
Hey weirdos! Welcome to a full episode dedicated to the biggest event in human history: World War 2! We've covered stories from WWII on the show before- like Hitler's werewolf army and my home girl Betty Pack the snack! But this week ALL of our stories are World War 2 stories and boy does it get WILD!
Ashley is joined by special guest and fan favorite of the show JOE OCHS who is a self proclaimed "Slut" and "White Dad" for WWII. Joe is going to be introducing us to yet another amazing female spy named Virginia Hall as well as a special unit of the military that was kept a secret for over forty years known as the "ghost army." Both of which combined saved hundreds of thousands of lives.
Ashley is going to be teaching us about the origins of foo fighters (no, not Dave Grohl's band) and the many soldiers who reported seeing them over occupied Nazi territories as well as a theoretical super weapon known as "Die Glocke" or "The Bell" that may have made it's way into the United States military's hands and into a field in Kecksburg Pennsylvania in 1965...
God Bless the Allied Forces and may we always remember that it's in service to our country that we punch nazis right in their f*cking face.
Welcome foolish mortals!!
Welcome to the second part of our DISNEY SERIES!! Last week we talked about the films and this week we're talking about the parks! And it is a very special episode for us, one we've been looking forward to for FIVE YEARS because today our guest is Lauren's amazing husband ALEX OGLE!!
Alex is going to be using his knowledge as an experiential media creative director to teach us about the origins of Disney's WEIRDEST rides and where they are today. Dispersed between Ashley is going to be trying to solve the mystery of the disappearance of Rebecca Coriam off of the Disney Wonder cruise in 2011 and Lauren will be talking about some of Disney's most gruesome deaths and injuries!!
Rides included are Mr. Toads Wild Ride, ExtraTERRORestrial Alien Encounter & of course, Disney's Haunted Mansion.
A very merry unbirthday to you, weirdos!!
This week it's time to get magical because we're entering the wonderful world of DISNEY!! Whether you're a Disney fan or as mad as Mad Madam Mim; there will be something for you in this series.
We're joined by a very special guest, one of our all time faves SCOTT YOUNGBAUER from the hilarious podcast MOVIES THAT MADE US GAY!!
In Part one Lauren is going to go over some of Walt's less magical moments and we try to get to the bottom of the questions: Was Walt Disney an antisemite? Racist? Sexist?? Or just a "man of his time?"
Scott is going to be examining a very popular conspiracy theory regarding Walt's head, the movie Disney straight up STOLE, and the tragic life and death of one of our most beloved voices.
Join us next week as we move into the PARKS side of things!
Warning: This episode does have discussions of racism, sexism, antisemitism, death, drug addiction, and a few political quips.
Scare me, Seymour! Scare me!
Welcome to another edition of LISTENER GHOST STORIES!!
This week we are telling stories sent in by YOU and some internet friends and these tales are 2scary4me.
We've got ghosts, we've got past lives, we've got aliens, we've got skinwalkers-- we have it all, people! Lauren tells us stories about meeting the devil, finding your own past life, working at a haunted daycare (again?!) and what it's like to have a very angry imaginary friend.
Ashley tells us tales about aliens saving someone's life, a ghost boy in a striped shirt, a skinwalker attempting to trick some campers, a UFO burning a man's eyes, and even having a special ability where you are able to glimpse into someones life just by touching them...
As usual WARNING: these episodes are BEST enjoyed with a set of headphones to get the full creep-tastic experience! And there are mentions of death, mental illness, and domestic abuse as well as sound effects and music that could be triggering to some listeners.
Did I spell "thieves" right?! That's a tough word. This week are continuing our edition of Hometown Haunts CANADA! But it turns out not all Canadians are polite and it sure is a lot darker now that DJ is gone...
This time 'round we're covering Canadian true crime! This episode is full of disturbing topics and listener discretion is advised. Lauren is covering Canadian serial killer Wayne Clifford Boden whose fetish gave him the moniker "The Vampire Rapist."
Ashley is covering the Saskatoon freezing deaths which is a part of a bigger phenomenon in Canada known as "starlight tours" where police officers pick up indigenous people for minor crimes and drive them several miles out of town and leave them in the freezing cold temperatures, sometimes to die.
As I said before, this episode is particularly serious and we cover some pretty sensitive topics. Rape, murder, mutilation, the abuse of indigenous people and police brutality. It leads to a brief discussion about the meaning of ACAB and even the murder of George Floyd. If these are topics that upset you, or topics that you don't wish to hear about we suggest you skip this one!
Welcome to another edition of HOMETOWN HAUNTS. This time we're heading North. WAY North. Ok, not THAT North. We're traveling to the land of Wayne Gretzky and poutine. America's Hat. Canuck central. That's right, we're headed to CANADA-eh!
Not only that, we also have a very special guest for today's episode. You may have seen him on America's Got Talent or maybe you caught one of his appearances on CONAN-- joining us to talk about his home country is stand up comedian DJ DEMERS!
DJ shares with us the things he had to change about himself when he moved from Canada to the US, some of the weirdest adjustments he had to make in regards to slang, and shares some very funny insights on how many ghosts he may have ignored while sleeping without his hearing aids.
Lauren teaches us about the most HAUNTED places in Canada including the Banff Springs Hotel, the Ottowa Jail Hostel and the Screaming Tunnel.
Ashley finishes us off by telling the story of one of the most substantiated close encounters in history-- known as the Falcon Lake Incident.
Make sure you check out DJ on instagram (@djdemers) and YouTube (www.youtube.com/djdemers) and listen to his podcasts Definitely DJ & DJ and Alex and DJ Watch a Doc on iTunes and Spotify!
Welcome to Karma Storage & Stairs! The place to get all your karma, storage and stairs!! This is sort of a Helter Skelter episode- we are covering two separate topics and none of it is related at all.
This week Lauren is going to be teaching us about some of the most horrific, disgusting, strange and in one case- lucky- storage unit discoveries! And we also give tips on how to do better at crimes - so if you're a blossoming criminal make sure you tune in for that.
Ashley is going over some misconceptions she's been seeing a lot of in the paranormal/true crime/spirituality community as she teaches us the TRUE meaning of "karma" and debunks a very famous modern urban legend that's sure to leave a few listeners kicking rocks in disappointment on their way home.
Have you seen these men, weirdos?
Welcome to PART TWO of our series on MISSING PEOPLE!! Last week we told you some stories that maybe made you give the local lake a side eye... This week we're keeping you out of the mountains!
Lauren is covering the story of a Chicago man who moved to Colorado during a mid-life crisis and opening an antique store whose previous owner went missing... just to go missing himself...
And Ashley is covering the tragic story of the Yuba County Five, a group of men with a range of developmental disabilities who seemingly took a wrong turn in 1978 that ended in their demise. Or did they?
Obviously this is one of our darker episodes so it needs to be said again-- WARNING: This episode contains foul language, and disturbing topics including murder, suicide, starvation, as well as mental disorders and developmental disabilities.
This episode features a PROMO for the podcast MOVIES THAT MADE US GAY-- one of our favorites of all time.
If you see something, say something, Weirdos!
This week we are talking about people that have disappeared without a trace. Each year hundreds of thousands of people go missing in the United States alone. Luckily a majority of those cases are solved. Unfortunately, the solving of a case doesn't automatically mean that there is a happy ending.
But what about the cases that aren't solved? Are they living their life somewhere with a different name? Are they being held captive? Are they in another dimension? Or should we be looking for remains?
This week Ashley is talking about a mass disappearance that took place in 2014. The day we lost an entire plane. Malaysia Flight 370 left us with way more questions than answers and we're going to be discussing what happened that day and what could have happened to those people.
Lauren is discussing a case that came out of Illinois in the 1960's where three young women never came home from a beach day. Last seen boarding a strange boat on Lake Michigan-- could these women have left everything behind and started a new life? Or are they still in the lake today? Will we ever know what happened to them?
Once again the lesson we want you to walk away with... just stay away from the dang water.
It's party time, weirdos.
This week we're attending an intergalactic rave! A trans-dimensional Burning Man! An otherworldly Studio 54! And you don't even have to leave your home planet.
This week Ashley and Lauren are joined once again by the beautiful, hilarious and STRANGE Caitlin Dee from Goth Yearbook After Hours as we continue our chat on close encounters of the fifth kind (intentional contact.)
The girls ask the question why would they be coming HERE? Of all places? What do they want with us? Do they even care about us? If they WERE to communicate with us, what would they have to say? What the heck are extraterrestrials anyway?
Tune in a some mind-bending chat about our purpose here on Earth, no matter what your beliefs, and how there may just be the greatest discothéque the universe has ever known right under our feet.
We come in peace, weirdos!
Welcome to a brand new episode about a tried and true topic! We are discussing ALIENS once again! But this time we're not looking in space, we're not looking under the sea, we're not even looking at Area 51 or on Mars. This time we're looking inside OURSELVES.
This week we are joined by musician and host of the podcast Goth Yearbook Afterhours - CAITLIN DEE!!
Caitlin starts us off by telling us about a close encounter she had when she was a child and an experience she had as an adult that revamped her interests in ET.
Ashley teaches us the Close Encounter classifications and where they came from and how they are used!
And Lauren teaches us about the different species of extraterrestrial that supposedly exist in our universe- The Greys, the Nordics, reptilians and more!
Stay tuned for the very end of the episode to catch a preview of Catilin's song "Trouble" and listen to her albums on Spotify! You can follow her on instagram @caitlindeeeee and @gothyearbook
Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-Check it Out Weirdos!
Welcome to the hottest show in town - it's another episode of DJ JAZZY JOE THE SCIENCE BRO!! We get to sit down with the sickest Science DJ the world has ever seen and tell you all the most fascinating news coming out of the scientific world.
This episode has biology, sociology, ecology, yes even PSYCHE-ology - all of the dopest ologies with no apologies.
Handsome Joe is teaching us about some crazy predator/prey reversals happening in the deep blue sea, some very cool new studies on how LSD effects the brain and can help with anxiety disorders and depression, and OF COURSE he has a LOT to say about the recent UFO disclosures.
Your producer and host Ashley aka Mix Master Cass is coming at you with some real dicey information coming out of the infamous radiation hot spot of the world- Chernobyl, as well as some fascinating new dream studies and some concerns she has about what NASA just launched into space like it was no big whoop.
The promo featured in this episode is the insanely talented POLTERGEIST OD so don't be wiggidy-wiggidy-whack and check out his work!
Whats your deepest, darkest desire?
This week Ashley and Lauren are finishing out the SEX SERIES with an episode on FETISHES & KINKS!! Fetishes and kinks are totally natural and normal and actually can lead to extremely healthy sexual relationships. Yes, even the STRANGEST ones.
Lauren is going to be teaching us about some of the lesser known fetishes we've never heard of and the girls try and guess where a fetish like it could have originated in a person's development before she takes us down a darker path and talks about some dangerous and even deadly fetishes.
Ashley dives into the psychology of fetishes and discusses why so many people equate deviant behavior with having less-than-vanilla sexual fantasies even though that's statistically and pathologically NOT accurate before she discusses when a fetish crosses a line and becomes a precursor to vicious behavior. We finish up with the case of Gilberto Valle (AKA the CANNIBAL COP) and our thoughts on Armie Hammer's secret sex life.
WARNING: This episode is NSFW. It contains foul language, discussions of a sexual nature, and mention of bondage, rape, torture, accidental death, murder and cannibalism.
Keep It Weird brings you the strange and unusual every Friday!
We love the paranormal, supernatural and true crime, and you better believe we chat about it- but we also realized that every aspect of our lives here on Earth can get WEIRD!! We discuss sports, fashion, strange cities, our weird bodies, science, space, the ocean, and yes... even sex.
Let your freak flag fly.
Strap in, Weirdos!
Or should I say Strap-on? Welcome to the dirtiest episode so far! This week is the introduction to our SEX SERIES!!
We had the honor of sitting down with the host of the podcast Stripper Stories. She's also a professional stripper, dominatrix, and cam girl: lets hear it for CHLOE!!
We obviously wanted to pick her brain about the sex industry so this week we talk about sex, people's aversion to sex work, changes that can be made to make the lives of sex workers safer, how to get in touch with yourself sexually, what makes her feel empowered, the things she will do, the things that she won't do, and the wildest things she's ever been asked to do. We feel very grateful for the opportunity to become Chloe's friend, and we know you'll feel the same!
This episode is obviously NSFW!! It contains foul language, references to sexual acts, and references to sexual assault and fetishes that may be disturbing to some listeners.
But get your dollar bills ready and put on your latex, lets head to the club!!
welcome to part two of our trip around the globe to find the world's STRANGEST PLACES!! You won't need as much sun screen this week but you might need a stronger stomach.
Ashley starts us off by taking us to the birthplace of strangeness: Peru! Specifically the shores of Lake Titicaca as we investigate the Puerta de Hayu Marca-- translation- THE GATE OF THE GODS!! This strange carving has caught the attention and imagination of archaeologists and ufologists alike for years!
And Lauren is giving us a tour of some of the world's strangest museums!! We have the pleasure of stepping into a room full of d*cks, see a corpse in a phone booth, use the world smallest lawn mower, and even attempt to escape a cave full of hair.
Make sure your passport is up to date, grab your clean drinking water and enjoy this absolutely bananas foster episode
All aboard, Weirdos!
It's time to have an adventure! Lauren and Ashley are traveling the world to find Earth's STRANGEST places!! This episode is extra exciting because we actually discover the REAL FUN ZONE!! And you won't believe where we found it....
Lauren is going to be taking us to several of the strangest towns in the world including a city full of amputees, a community run entirely by women, a town where it's ILLEGAL to DIE, and a burning man-esque desert wasteland that's heaven on Earth to it's residents.
Ashley is taking us to the Chihuahuan desert in Mexico as we explore a place where radio signals don't exist, compasses spin out of control and big fat meteors drop out of the sky at an inordinate rate.
Grab your fanny pack, make sure you have plenty of sunscreen and hop in!
Welcome to The Fun Zone...
This week is a HELTER SKELTER episode and you know what that means!! Probably... Helter Skelters are where we give you all of our juiciest scraps. We have stories we want to tell that don't quite fit into anything we have coming up or were cut for time on a previous episode and this is where you will find them!
This week Lauren is telling us the heartbreaking story of Joyce Carol Vincent, a 38 year old woman who died in her apartment in London and went undiscovered for over two years. Then she lightens it up (sort of) with a fun new project that Russia is working on! Trust me, it's totally sane and safe.
Ashley is teaching us about the strange unsolved disappearance of Frederick Valentich in 1978. We listen to the final sound the black box of his Cessna 182L recorded and ask the question - did he crash into the ocean? Or was he taken by something from out of this world? Then we close the show with one of the most horrifying stories we've ever told as Ashley recounts the case of the Tri State Crematory in Noble, Georgia.
Hold on to your butts, this FUN zone gets pretty dark.
Warning: This episode contains foul language, graphic descriptions of death and body decomposition, and mentions of murder and suicide.
Theres no business like show business, weirdos!
Welcome to part two of our latest HOLLYWEIRD series and this week we're getting pretty dark. We're going down the loneliest alleyways, the emptiest movie studios, and the seediest night clubs to talk about MURDER.
Ashley and Lauren are once again joined by their great friend Mike Johnston as they research three cases that seem cut and dry... only to learn the truth was much more sinister.
Lauren brings us the story of William Desmond Taylor whose life and death were the final straw to push Hollywood into forced wholesomeness. Then as a bonus she also brings us Thelma Todd, a young starlet suicide much like so many others.... or was it?
And Ashley is teaching us about the strange disappearance of Jean Spangler in 1949 and the list of suspects that includes one of Hollywood's most infamous madmen.
Enjoy this extra long episode that does include foul language, graphic descriptions of murder and discussions of suicide, incest, and sexual abuse.
Lights, Camera, Action, Weirdos!
Celebrities.... they're just like us! They buy groceries, they brush their hair, they go to the eye doctor and yes they even have PARANORMAL EXPERIENCES!!
Welcome to our return to HOLLYWEIRD! This week we are telling some extra spooky and strange celebrity ghost stories! And we have our first guest of the season - all the way from NYC (and season one of our show) Mike Johnston is here!!
Mike shares stories from some of his favorite child stars- Tracey Gold from Growing Pains has a run in with a new soul, Corey Feldman from Stand By Me gets a shake down from a deceased family member, Joey Lawrence from Brotherly Love sleeps in a super haunted hotel, and Beverly Mitchell from 7th Heaven finds hell in an abandoned asylum.
Lauren tells us about the time comedian Margaret Cho had to rent a house that came with some nasty spirits and RuPaul's Drag Race star Miz Cracker shared a house with an entity that drove everyone there crazy!
And Ashley finishes off the episode with a story about Kurt Russell and his famous forgotten close encounter!
WARNING: This episode is seriously not as dark as the warning suggests BUT does contain MENTIONS of child sexual abuse, asylum abuse, abortion, suicide, and murder. There is also MUSIC and SOUND EFFECTS that may cause a level of unease or discomfort for sensitive ears.
Fancy seeing you here, Weirdos!
Welcome to part two of COINCIDENCES! Last week we told you a collection of stories that people had about their own crazy coincidences and a couple of our own personal experiences. This week we're getting down to business. Are coincidences real?
We take a lot of sides in this one, trying to come at the material from different points of view. Lauren starts us off by discussing a skeptical POV- we look at the math and probability of coincidences occurring and what it takes to determine if it was special or not. Then we discuss the contradictions involved in fate and free will-- if our lives are predestined, if every decision we make was already decided by 'God' then... how can we have free will?
Then Ashley comes in with a very popular theory called SYNCHRONICITY. Are coincidences winks from the universe telling you you're on the right path? Can the signs be positive and negative? How do we start to experience more of them? And finally, is there any science behind these winks? Behind good and bad vibes?
WHEW this episode is conversation heavy so put on your thinking cap and get ready to open your mind!
WARNING: This episode contains foul language and discussions about death and religion.